Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Team Talk: 29th June

Hi one all! Fans and members, and Fans who are also members. With the next match Coming up this sunday, its time to awake the Lions within as our resident malingerer YNWA oft serves to remind us when he makes his monthly appearence at the JUFC Training Ground.





Venue: Pei Hwa Sec, 21 Fernvale link.


Warm-up: 8.40am


Kick off: 9am





Bring your boots, extra pair of lungs, and Shin guards. Will be appointing a 100 plus ic closer to the date. Although half of us will be home and the other half will be away, we'll all be wearing our Blue and Yellow JUFC colours. PLEASE GET YELLOW SOCKS! NICKY CAN HELP WITH THOSE, there's a FBT warehouse near his house and he'll be mass buying, those interested pls sms Gazza.





As For the Line-up,




Subs: Gan, A*din, Ambrose

FOOOTBALL TIME!!

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Semi-Finalists !

Hi everybody ants here ! yes the news of the day for the day during the day is that JUFC are proud semifinalists of another tournament yet again. naysayers may sayers that there were only 8 teams, that we only played two matches, that the first team were a bunch of noobzors and that being semifinalists in an 8 team tournament isn't much to brag about. i say to the naysayers YOU WAKE UP AT 7.30am LA ! YOU GO SPLASH AROUND IN THE FOUL MUD LA ! YOU SEE KAIYUN'S BARE ASS WHILE STANDING IN THE SCORCHING SUN LA !

so you see, bragging rights to being semi finalists weren't won on the field, it was won... you know... because of the sacrifices we made to get to the field. hahaha..

special mention goes to yanwei, current jufc first choice keeper, possible future china national team first choice keeper... he owned them all with his saves lar, but he also chose the wrong moment to demonstrate his shadowkick hahaha..

sigh. still. we can only imagine what could have happened if adin had converted his goal. the glory, fame, honour that awaited he-who-saved-the-penalty-and-then-go-on-to-convert-the-winning-penalty. alas it was not to be. as we walked to shake the hand of our brave goalkeeper we all felt in our hearts the inexplicable pang of desire. of desire to ask him why his shot was so blah.. for he could have been the hero whose name would be engraved all over the cup, whose surname would be adopted by many illegitimate ones as groupies copulate with him hoping for an offspring half as talented as someone who can save a penalty as well as score one. the messiah who could have delivered us from the illogical delusion of religion, for surely to worship something real is much better than to worship something intangible? the hand of god may have scored one goal in the world cup, but the hand n feet of yanwei could have scored and saved a goal in the kebun baru ang mo kio cup! he could even have been the one who would inspire others to write about him, thus increasing the paltry population of 2 editors on this blog !!!!! sadly it is or was not to be..

ok end of post..

Monday, July 23, 2007

Tournament News: When it matters the Most...

The wee hours of sunday morning saw a new Shade of yellow take to the field. (actually only shade of yellow since the sun was no where to be seen... And also, it wasn't really a field, more like a marshland.) JUFC sent a team for its first intra-con competition. Gazza, Ants, BT, Klementi Kannan, CKY, Andrewano and A*din, donned the Blue and Yellow of JUFC and took to the water logged field in a knock-out tournament.

It is notable to note, that CKY, was firstly inexplicably late, busy fraternising in some ulu longkang near chua chu kang, and ran barefoot around bishan park trying to find andrew to pay for his cab fare. Also, much to the disgust of the JUFC members, he had apparently forgotten to wear his key undergarment, and flashed the unsuspecting public with his butt cheeks, and untamed shortgun(pronounced *shot-gun). 3 old ladys were found dead in the shrubbery behind the bench where CKY commited this act. On questioning, CKY claimed to have forgotten to wear said undergarment, but the keen intellect of the assembled JUFC members noted he remembered to wear a nice long sleeve shirt out.

The first match saw our star Klementi kannan, paving the way to the semi finals, with dribbles, jiggles and wiggles. Scoring a deplorable hat-trick against a team of runts ineptly named The Kings. A resounding performance, that saw A*din rack up a typical 0% contact of ball.

The semi-final was hard fought however. Although JUFC was dominant, Klementi kannan with some goal breaking shots, Gazza with mud-slinging tackles, and BT going under-water a few times, the pitch took its toll on the team. It happily Devoured CKY's boots, and Embedded Ants and the ball in the sloshy mud, and overall offered a bathe to all members on the field. The match ended in a stale mate, and went to penalties.

The Man of the Hour, Klementi Kannan, strode confidently to fire home the first penalty. But Alas, the goal was covered by a Sumo wrestler, and Klementi Kannan, blasted the ball into the atmosphere. Rumour has it a deejay who kept repeating his lines in the crowd behind suffered a concussion at approximately the same time. And the Just like Baggio in the '94 World Cup, Klementi Kannan's glorious contribution, was belittled.

***sources say that due to insurmountable grief, Klementi kannan, has become a dejected drunk, and was spotted entering a plastic surgery clinic, presumably to remove the 6th toe that has served him so well over the years. The accuracy of the source is sort-of accurate somewhat. **

However, A*din, dug deep in that unnamed place once again, to produce an astonishing save, and kept JUFC in the running. Gazza was also foiled by the sumo wrestler, before CKY slotted home, and BT did what he did best, with a thunderous lightning shot, that tore a hole thru the net of the goal post.

A*din once again, conjured another magical save in sudden death, and stepped up gloves and all, to take the deciding penalty to send the team into the final. But as the shot trickled to sumo wrestler, it became apparent that we should have slept the rainy morning away.

So in typical Jolly fashion, the players packed up, ate a ton of Cocaine wings, and knocked 6 bottles of beer off the wall, to celebrate their second semi final exit on penalties, in as many tournaments. Cheers to all!

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Best News of the Day!

Richardson departs Old Trafford for Sunderland

England midfielder Kieran Richardson has completed his move from Manchester United to Sunderland for an undisclosed fee. The 22-year-old signed a four-year deal with the Wearsiders after successfully coming through a medical this morning.He could now make his Black Cats debut in Wednesday's friendly with Darlington.

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J.U.F.C. Would like to breathe a HUGE sigh of relief, and thank the United Gaffer for finally giving that useless goal-stealing-yellow-card-collecting turd the boot. That leaves O'Shits, we shall continue to keep our fingers crossed!