An Introduction
Welcome ! You have reached the official webpage of Jollies United Football Club. A club steeped in tradition, ambition, ignition. This famous club was founded way back in 1997, and no one can (or would bother to) dispute the fact that this club signs only the best. The club has been responsible for nurturing the drinking career of many a fine young footballer, aspiring to follow in the steps of the legendary Geroge Best, Paul Gascoigne, Adrian Mutu, Rio Ferdinand and many other alcoholic and/or substance abusing football superstars.
Please note that applications for trials to join the club will be entertained. ! This club has had legends such as Kevin the Dislocated, R "roomus, r-rer, arrrrr" M, nurtured superstars like Andriano and Clementi Kannan , as well as counting the Deputy Father of Alcohol amongst its first teamers. If you feel you have the talent to improve this club further than what we have already achieved, leave the club a message on this website, and our club secretary, whom we have not yet confirmed, will get back to you. If you need more incentive to sign up for trials with Jollies United, look no further than the prospect of getting to meet, in the flesh, up close and personal, a real life porn star ! A*Din ! The secrets of his aerodynamic abilities and his ninja-like movements lie hidden within the club's training grounds. Lastly, Jollies United may be a football club, but we do not sign players purely based on skill and talent. Any team with no life can do that. We sign players with passion and verve. We sign players with humor and laughter. We sign players who are, for lack of a better word, jolly. If you are not jolly, don't bother signing up.
This website will also serve as an online portal for the club's players and fans to interact. As we are our own fans, we will interact with each other. Thus, players are encouraged to post any and all material concerning the welfare or the improvement of this club, be it through football, education, alcoholism or even hard trance. If you think it helps, do bring it up.
Jollies United currently has a player base of about 20 players, but that number varies from 8 upwards. OK, this introduction has to end, the editor is bored. If any player would like to volunteer to do the articles for the club history, club motto, club profile, club personnel, club player profile, club statistics and all the write ups of the daily events of Jollies FC, please feel free to contact the editor for the stupid password.
