Tournament News: When it matters the Most...
The wee hours of sunday morning saw a new Shade of yellow take to the field. (actually only shade of yellow since the sun was no where to be seen... And also, it wasn't really a field, more like a marshland.) JUFC sent a team for its first intra-con competition. Gazza, Ants, BT, Klementi Kannan, CKY, Andrewano and A*din, donned the Blue and Yellow of JUFC and took to the water logged field in a knock-out tournament.
It is notable to note, that CKY, was firstly inexplicably late, busy fraternising in some ulu longkang near chua chu kang, and ran barefoot around bishan park trying to find andrew to pay for his cab fare. Also, much to the disgust of the JUFC members, he had apparently forgotten to wear his key undergarment, and flashed the unsuspecting public with his butt cheeks, and untamed shortgun(pronounced *shot-gun). 3 old ladys were found dead in the shrubbery behind the bench where CKY commited this act. On questioning, CKY claimed to have forgotten to wear said undergarment, but the keen intellect of the assembled JUFC members noted he remembered to wear a nice long sleeve shirt out.
The first match saw our star Klementi kannan, paving the way to the semi finals, with dribbles, jiggles and wiggles. Scoring a deplorable hat-trick against a team of runts ineptly named The Kings. A resounding performance, that saw A*din rack up a typical 0% contact of ball.
The semi-final was hard fought however. Although JUFC was dominant, Klementi kannan with some goal breaking shots, Gazza with mud-slinging tackles, and BT going under-water a few times, the pitch took its toll on the team. It happily Devoured CKY's boots, and Embedded Ants and the ball in the sloshy mud, and overall offered a bathe to all members on the field. The match ended in a stale mate, and went to penalties.
The Man of the Hour, Klementi Kannan, strode confidently to fire home the first penalty. But Alas, the goal was covered by a Sumo wrestler, and Klementi Kannan, blasted the ball into the atmosphere. Rumour has it a deejay who kept repeating his lines in the crowd behind suffered a concussion at approximately the same time. And the Just like Baggio in the '94 World Cup, Klementi Kannan's glorious contribution, was belittled.
***sources say that due to insurmountable grief, Klementi kannan, has become a dejected drunk, and was spotted entering a plastic surgery clinic, presumably to remove the 6th toe that has served him so well over the years. The accuracy of the source is sort-of accurate somewhat. **
However, A*din, dug deep in that unnamed place once again, to produce an astonishing save, and kept JUFC in the running. Gazza was also foiled by the sumo wrestler, before CKY slotted home, and BT did what he did best, with a thunderous lightning shot, that tore a hole thru the net of the goal post.
A*din once again, conjured another magical save in sudden death, and stepped up gloves and all, to take the deciding penalty to send the team into the final. But as the shot trickled to sumo wrestler, it became apparent that we should have slept the rainy morning away.
So in typical Jolly fashion, the players packed up, ate a ton of Cocaine wings, and knocked 6 bottles of beer off the wall, to celebrate their second semi final exit on penalties, in as many tournaments. Cheers to all!
