Team Talk

Good Day folks. Sunday is our debut match, and despite our emphatic win last sunday, The Board feels that we should keep our focus and register another victory under our banner before we bust out any champagne.



*Please note however, that the board feels its ok to bust out some JD on friday night.



The match will be played in the Tanglin field (directions to follow). All Players are to wear a White T-Shirt/Jersey. Bring your Boots, (Adin Don't spoil your new boots before then), Shin guards are also highly recommended, as you can tell from some crunching tackles from last week's match. The Match will have rolling subs, so players can go out and come back in! (Thank God)



The Players Drafted/Formation is as follows,









Subs:

Nick
Ambrose
Ong
Chan
Gan
Gerard (Hopefully)
=======================================

Friendly Match Report

Final Score -About 5 or 6 -1

MOM (Mask of Madness) - Chester Rowe Tan Yanwei ! He smashed all the people up and scored two goals in his spiffing new Ronaldinho boots

Match Report

Jollies made an encouraging start when Chester Rowe!'s SuperPippo like front running yielded two fantastically taken goals with assists from Ants, who was supremely impressed with Chester's ownage performance leading the frontline. Chester chased down every ball relentless as a blood hound and more than once the flashes of ninja-running style acceleration was glimpsed by members of the press. Still very very, very very fun to watch..haha. To be fair the other team paid very little attention to their defence and their passing was good, at first. Until our defence imposed themselves on the game with Nick Ambrose Ganesh and Andriano smashing all the people up at the back and Chan trying to see if he could kick the ball to the temple up that hill playing the funny music. Our defence was impregnable....the opposition couldn't impregnate our goal no matter how hard they tried. HAHAHAHAHAHA. BT then scored the third and along with it Chester's chance for a hat trick. Still our defence put in a monster performance defending (at tower) and taking no chances, Nick especially spidery and commanding at the back.


Half time came and went and Ants switched over to the left to forge a new partnership with Andriano. Capsize time ! was the codeword for the play of the day by the two left sided players, and though it was never used, rest assured one day it will be. Noone knows what I'm talking about right ? Nvm, me and Andriano were not sure too. The second half continued with more thrills and spills. Ongster's performance up front was awesome with some magic runs stopped by bone chilling tackles. I donno who else scored, and I guess I could write my own version of history and say Chester went on to get his hat trick. I could but I won't ! Chester missed about 5 open chances including one that I burst my lung to run and cross but that bird sent a flying header nowhere near the goal...sibeh sian.. All in all the ownage hero of the day was Adin with a killing spree of 2 goals and an added move speed of +100 with his new boots. Let's hope for JUFC's sake that the new boots last longer than his China endorsed shoes *cough* flip flops *coughs* peeling piece of crap *cough*

In summary, I still play too much dota but at least I've got a job !! And to use the exact words of Ambrose, "this calls for a toast." Ambrose say one.. so tonight anyone on for a toast ??

next destination: bali?!

Bali!

Who's on for end July/ early August?!

Training Update

Training session report - Sunday May 20th Bishan Park Somewhere

Player performances appraisal (some)

Ambrose (9) - A commanding performance from the commando. He completely owned Adin when as last man he let a ball slip through his legs and through to Adin. Clear on goal about a metre out, Adin casually walked the ball in its inevitable path towards our spanking new goalposts when Ambrose crept up from behind and OWNED Adin with a tackle barely millimetres away from the goal line to deny the striker his undeserved goal. Determination 1 Complacency 0. He also kneed me in the left thigh really really really hard..koopeng..

Ganesh (9) - Bruising fiery performance from the chief decoy in Barca colours. Roy Keane like tackles and fiery flying flicks and flacks. Almost scored the goal of the season with a diving header that almost hit the crossbar. Top marks for setting up the goalposts aided by two able assistants Gan and Ants. For goalpost-erection services enquire by email. Almost took off my legs with some monster clearances. Ownage hero.

Adin (10) - Returning back from his native land did him a world of good. Showed his versatility, and maybe too much of it when he excelled in his keeper position, even more so than as a striker. Highlights included a stunning double triple or quadruple save early on in the session. Was unbeatable in goal and also owned the game when he came out. Still, he may have found his true calling as an inundefatistoppfeatigable player. It's a word look it up in the dictionary it will say "Adin"

Justin(9) - A late gamer having spent the earlier part of the session goal tending he was all over the pitch owning people left right and centre. Ownage hero..

THE REST(9) - Everyone owned the game. I play too much dota and I need to find a job soon.

Next week..same time same place!

Training Camp Report

The last few weeks have been rather busy for JUFC. Lots of football, team bonding and the highlight of the month was an overseas training trip to the Sunny island of bintan.

As depicted in the preceding photos. A selection of 10 JUFC members made the arduous journey aboard Indera Bupala to the JUFC satelite training grounds in Bintan. Participating players endured a gruelling 48hrs of training that left them spent, exhausted and burnt by the time they returned to singapore.

Some of the training activities enjoyed by the members on this retreat were:

Extensive Nocturnal Liver Training - Courtesy of DFS Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal

Capsize Drills (Relevance still TBD) - Ambrose and Gan earned Special merits for their exemplary performance

Saltwater Lung Treatment - An invigorating and rejuvenating Session, tailor-made for Andrew

Reflexes Training - We Extend our thanks to the Million crabs who offered their support

Tactical Water Muscle Toning - Also Known as water polo in some Ancient Cultures

Agility Training - Footage of this segment can be Seen below

Tackle riding - This exercise was aimed at Ansel; the bane of defenders. However, the coaching staff concludes that back-flipping is not one of his stronger Fortes.

And needless to say, there was lots and lots free flowing beach football. With A*din consistently giving outstanding performances, cutting out passes and creating plays, all with minimal dancing and confusion. The native's return to the familiar sun, sea, and air of his birthplace seemed to bring out the best in our Star of Stars.

All in all, the adminstrators of JUFC believe it was a fruitful training camp, and the Board has decided to organise more such expeditions in the Future. Also, Negotiations are also underway for the adoption of the "Nirwana Lake Komodo Dragons" as official Club Mascots.

To all our Members, have a Good a Monday.

bintan dreaming

Imagine ...

The sizzling sun burns the skin on the back of your neck as you step out onto the porch. You close the sliding door, blocking out the (sweet) trance music playing from inside. Beads of perspiration start to form on your forehead barely ten seconds after you'd just stepped out of your fully air-conditioned private villa. You wince at the brightness of the day and cover your eyes, squinting out to the sight before you. The villa is located right at the beachfront, and in front of you is an expanse of sandy beach and green blue sea. The nearest villa occupied by other people is a good few hundred metres down, so this part of the beach is all yours. The glistening sand kicks up powdery sprays as a game of beach football soon starts. Frosty beers sit expectantly in an ice box, waiting to be opened after the game.

Pretty soon, everyone is tired out. The chiller is opened and the beers are passed around. You sit along the circle of sweaty, sand covered bodies gulping down the ice cold (dirt cheap) beers, knowing another slab still awaits you back in the fridge of the villa. You sit around discussing the choice of mixers for the debauchery that is tonight. With the beers and talk finished, you get up, throw the empty bottles into a thrash bag for environmental-friendly purposes, and race with your friends to the water.

The turqoise waves shimmer invitingly as you dive headfirst into the warm water, instantly refreshing and invigorating. Snorkels are thrown out by someone from the villa as you grab one, and try to spot the different kinds of fish that place is home to. As you get more and more engrossed in the flora and fauna of the sea, you venture slightly further out. A rainbow fish, irridescent in the sun's rays, playfully swishes its tail as you swim after it. Clownfish flit in and around sea anemones as you sweep your hand across looking for the mischievious little fish. You start to imagine yourself as a deep sea explorer, discovering the mysteries the plentiful ocean holds, as you swim further and further away. The temperature of the water starts to get cooler, and things start to look darker.

The rainbow fish soon swims out of sight, bored by your trivial pursuit. You tread water, clear your foggy mask and look back at how far you've swum. Good lord ! The villa looks tiny from where you are. Your friends are shouting and gesturing at you, no doubt, for a rematch of the previous beach football game. One of your friends even looks like he's pleading with you, hands held palm together in a pleading manner, as if to say 'Please come and play we need one more!'. You can barely make out the words "stuck" ? Or "suck ?". "Well,you suck too" , you think to yourself. Years of watching stupid sea movies finally pay off when you realise you friend making the pleading gesture was mimicking a fin, and that the word you thought you heard was actually.."shark". A flash of the tip of the fin gliding into the water ahead of you catches your eye, as you become monumentally aware of the scrapes and cuts from the beach game just now. Cold chills ripple down your spine as you shiver from the dark image coming at you barely a metre away. You close your eyes..


SO.. ANYONE UP FOR TIOMAN/BINTAN THIS HOLIDAY ! as 2nd sg ng buck teo ( thats his name alright) once extolled to me the virtues of signing up with the army, so shall i share with you his words of wisdom, applicable to this holiday too !!! -- "Join army good life ! got the sun, the sand, the sea, what more you want ? fuck you !"

mork and stork and mumued star !!!!!!!

Winter Break

For those of you who haven't Realised it yet, JUFC is experiencing a little lull, due to the imposition of exams. As such, we've decided to have a winter break in the season. Since, we are in a League of own, we can do whatever we want.

But Fans, dun fret, JUFC will resume its sunday trespassing within a week a two. Although, the last match up in an un-named primary school, in an un-named district was riddled with injuries.

Actually only two people. One tried to be gung ho, and was tripped by the moss in the red area, while the other, well, just wanted to have the most spectacular fall award.

In the mean time, as we enjoy this freak Winter Break. We here at JUFC wish all its Legendary members, Good Luck for the Exams.

destress time! magic!

Ferguson: Totti Who?